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An unorganised thought


Hi Darling,

Happy new year 2023. As usual, your dad is late again to wish you. Actually I started writing this letter quite a few times back but could not finish it. Lately I was thinking about so many things. Today, I will share some of them with you.

This is the last picture I clicked in 2022. It was the last sunset of the year. I was walking by a park here, looking back to the year. I think 2022 was an eventful year for me. I moved out of my home to a new country, left my friends back there, started living on my own, travelled a lot and many more. I was thinking am I really happy? The first thing that came in my mind was no, I'm not. Now the obvious question, why? I thought a lot on this. The best explanation I could come up with was I am comparing each moment, each incident with past. It's mostly because I truly felt happy back then. But I guess comparing each moment with past inhibits you to look forward. I have a feeling that I stopped exploring things that I used to do. I would be honest with you, lately I do not feel interacting with people anymore. That's a bad thing for sure, I know. I think I am too afraid to be hurt again. That makes things even worse. Your dad was someone who would choose to keep faith in people and being hurt again rather than not believing in humanity. Your dad has changed a lot. I think I need to find a way back to myself. 

I don't know if this letter sounds more like a monologue to you. I will write another letter to you shortly. I wish you find peace and comfort when you are heartbroken and it feels like you are alone in the world.

Yours always,
Dad

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