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A million heartbreak

Hi Sweetheart,

I definitely should write you more. Sorry for not writing you for a while. How are you dear?

I just noticed that it's almost one year since I started writing to you. Writing you always gave me solace. Thanks a lot for being there for me when barely anyone stayed. Thanks again for hearing me when I had so much to tell but got no-one to listen. I always wished to tell you things that I feel my parents should have told me. I wish you learned something from your dad too.

Your dad is struggling with things lately. I often feel that worst part of my day is when I wake up. Almost everyday I see things of different scenarios in my dreams but the only constant thing is she is there in every single of them. We were together. When I wake up, boom, everything shatters all at once. It's been two years since we broke up but when I wake up it breaks my heart all over again. It's like an endless recursion of heartbreaks. I wish I had the answer to why this happens but unfortunately I don't. I am tired of this now, I really am. Sometimes I feel like not waking up anymore. 

But then I wake up. I feel like I really need to find those answers to why's and how to deal with all those. There are plenty of people talking about variety of things but no one tells how to handle a heartbreak. Don't worry dear, I will wake up every single day, and someday I will find those answers for sure. I promise, you will be the first one to know that.

Yours always,
Dad

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